Does it make me a bad friend if I feel like I’m losing my friends whenever they start a new relationship? I mean on the one hand, I want to be happy for them, but on the other it’s like ‘okay, see you never’..
- 1 hour ago
The other day, one of my guy friends told me I wasn’t ‘girly’. Initially, I was kind of insulted - I consider myself to be very feminine. Then by random coincidence, I came across this (mostly one-sided) conversation I had with another friend about two years ago after a similar incident, and I thought I’d share it:
"How am I not girly??
Do you know what I did this evening? I listened to the Backstreet Boys and painted my nails. Not pink, but purple. With glitter. And you already know that my favourite colour is hot pink. You’ve seen my room - my sheets are pink.
I’m very girly. Just because I’m not a wimp and I can stand up for myself doesn’t mean I’m not girly. It just means I’m strong-minded. If your definition of ‘girly’ includes ‘ditzy’, then no, I don’t fit that.
But I’m plenty girly. I mean, I’m not ‘butch’.
[He agreed to this]
So if I’m not girly either, what the hell am I? I think when you’re saying I’m not ‘girly’, it’s because your standard of ‘girly’ is like [our mutual friend] - all pink all the time.
[He agreed again]
OK. See, I like girly shit (flowers, shoes, shopping, makeup, the colour pink). But I don’t feel the need to be so in-your-face about it, and let it be my only defining characteristic - not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I also like the colour blue.
I love wearing skirts and dresses and heels - but I’m equally comfortable in a pair of skinny jeans, sneakers, and a knit sweater.
I swear and I giggle. I wear bows in my hair on a regular basis, along with band T-shirts. My favourite TV shows are mostly cop dramas, and my favourite movies include a lot of rom-coms. So what?
I’m a very complex individual. I’m sarcastic as hell, but I still cry. And I’m empathetic and caring, but still tough.
And sure, breaking one of my nails is an annoyance, especially if I just did them nicely, but if it happens because I’m working hard at something (or playing baseball, which used to happen ALL the time) then it’s worth it.
And it occurs to me that I’ve spent all this time trying to defend myself for having some ‘masculine’ traits, when that’s not even really a problem. The problem is that I felt the need to be defensive in the first place and ‘prove’ how girly I was because apparently you didn’t notice it.
But that shouldn’t matter.
I know I’m a girl.
I know I’m smart, I know I’m funny, I know I’m a nice person. And at the end of the day, your definition of ‘girly’ isn’t going to match up to everyone else’s, and I won’t necessarily match up to everyone else’s definitions, either. But I match up to mine. And THAT is really all that matters.”
(He didn’t have a comeback to that.)
*High-fives 19-year-old self*
I’ve always wanted to own a (female) tabby cat and name her after Professor McGonagall. I was going to name her Minerva, and call her Minnie for short, because that’s adorable right?
Then today I realized I should just name her McGonagall, because then her nickname could be…
- 4 hours ago
Prosecutors dismissed charges against Shanesha Taylor, the job-seeking mother who left her children in the car.
I’m so glad to hear this!!! Her story absolutely broke my heart…
- 23 hours ago
- 1 day ago